the ugliest "c" word

i remember what i was wearing, ( an orange sundress), the day the doctor told me i had cancer (bladder cancer).

that was 3 years ago, i am cancer free, but still have to go thru treatments. it does not matter what i wore, what matters is what i decided to do...

once i got thru the intitial shock, making surgery arrangements, a mini melt down, telling my family and other loved ones, i had a million thoughts...

one of the first things i thought was about my son beau. he has grown up to be a strong young man, and knew that he would probably take on the challenge of dealing with my studio if things did not go well. that is enough to scare the strongest person. so i made the decision to deal with my own studio.... 

this is how i deal with it... MAKE ART!! 

every morning, i get up before steve and flora, get my coffee and head down to the studio. i take care of the biz part of the biz, then meander to my work table. there are days that i am so tired that i just sit there, i have even fallen asleep there, only to wake up with scraps of papers and who knows what on me. it is there that i am surrounded by my papers, sparkly things, and all of the beautiful messes. 

 my decision to show up everyday in my gross studio garb, and to continue to work,  has shown me that creating for me  is stronger than my fear of cancer. so, when i am in my closet, and i see that orange sundress, i just remember that hearing the ugliest word is just a reminder to get up, get busy, create beauty (and humor) around you.

...  and as far as cancer goes, arm yourself with lots of permission to be tired, and surround yourself with people who love you.....thank you for taking the time to read this. feedback is always welcome. 

diana